Chicken Rice: 2016

Thursday, September 08, 2016

friday finally

Hot, black tea over
Indian bread and
Chicken curry
On a Friday afternoon,
finally.

Friday, September 02, 2016

Blessings, Faith and Forgiveness

God chooses who to bless and blesses who He chose.

We do not deserve nor is able to boast of anything by our effort.

I do not know what is God's purpose for me on this earthly life and neither am I sure I can accomplish it.

Dejected feelings and a deep, dark sadness weighs over my heart every day.

The obvious lack of faith in self and God.

Father please forgive me.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

at the losing end of the battle...

When I heard the question posed to my wife, I didn't feel much pain.
Instead I felt the passing bittermess and jealousy. It was just a feeling and nothing personal. I wasn't angry with the enquirer.

Like other similar scenarios, this experience made me question my own faith, question God and life. This experience also discourage me of any good in life and that u should live for the moment instead of aiming for eternity. It just makes me want to squeeze everything selfishly out of life and give up once and for all.

Such a typical strategy that works everytime - right Satan?

Meanwhile I am still at the losing end of this battle.

National #2 favourite question

Q: "Do you have any kids?"
A: No.

Favourite follow up question to national national #2 favourite question:
Q: Is it planned?
A: No

National #1 favorite question

Q: how many kids do you have?
A: zero. It's a number and it answers your question.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Gnite Mr Dee

Gnite Mr Dee. I am not impressed that you have been a long term resident in my private abode for almost three weeks in a row.

But then again, I also suspect you have been around longer than that, perhaps years but your sneaky and rat-like ways eluded my detection so well that you seem more a visitor that resident.

But tonight my suspicion rose to a blue moon like one during high tide.

I don't want to think or worry about you now.

Hitting the sack, so... don't wait for me to complain to Abba about you ok.

Now be gone.

Bye.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Cannot be bothered

I cannot be bothered about everything in life anymore
What's the point?
Who cares

Monday, August 08, 2016

TT

Jasmine where are you??????!!!!!!!!!!!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Friday, July 08, 2016

Early Blues?

Am feeling the post holidays blues already...

Thursday, July 07, 2016

Depressed Dogs

It's very strange that dogs commonly howl depressingly here everytime the speakers blared from mosques five times a day.

Wednesday, July 06, 2016

Upside down root

Losing a loved one is painful, an experience that is difficult to face at the time of loss. It's memories brings pain over time, albeit less painful as its numbed over time.

Losing my one and only child and knowing I will never have another is a totally different thing to swallow all together. The pain at the time of loss is the least and the beginning of an eternal avalanche of ever increasing torture that is delivered blow after blow on a daily basis. I am still receiving it after 8 long years. That painful torture can be described as a hopeless future that stems from a loss in the past. The root is nursed by the bleak future, unlike the root of a tree that supplies and contributes to the future growth of the tree. Cutting off or forgetting the root doesn't work here.

Two things

For the past eight years, every day I think of only two things. One, How would my daughter look, talk, behave and and smile and laugh with me if she is alive and well today. Two, why did this had to happen and continue to torture me daily.
As one who believes in God and His son Jesus Christ, I no longer blame God for it. The pain however continue to plague me years on.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Idiotic, so damn annoyingly idiotic

How to take the annoyance out of an annoying idiot?

Monday, June 20, 2016

Happy F***er's Day

Happy F***er's Day!

Friday, June 03, 2016

Drudgery 20hrs 22plans

After slogging over more than 20 hours over 4 days to complete 22 lesson preparations, I feel tired suddenly. Not physical. Maybe mentally. More like a restless drudgery in anticipation of something remotely unsettling and unknown yet familiar.
Try to complete 1 more today?

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

One of my frustrations is from my wife :
1. She's incessantly late for everything - work, church, meetings with friends, dinner, you name it. And I get the only share of troubles that comes with it, at times the blames as well.

2. Messy on shared space but refusal to allow others to clear/tidy up things. Still boils down to pride and stubbornness.

I try to overlook many others not listed but currently these are the current top 2.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Life's frustrations breeds vulgarities

Some of my frustrations are:

1.Whenever I am at home i'm 'expected' to do some tasks. This is one disadvantage when the lines between working in office and home are blurred.

2.During my school holiday, this gets worse, I work also but when I forgot to do some tasks I received black face or grumbling.

3 . she works very late daily but still insists to cook dinner (Supper really). After a stressful day probably that's her destressor. So it's dinner at 9pm.

All these are not big issues but I guess some marriages gets diluted over time?

Amidst all the frustrations, ugliness of marriage is imminent. It's also called vulgarities.

Monday, May 30, 2016

School holidays

School holidays are here again. One week to work, sleep and rest. And to arm myself with another two and half weeks of buffer. That should handle those disruptions, exam preparations or any other. That's if everything goes well...

Friday, May 13, 2016

Weak week end

Here comes another wasted Saturday. Where is a decent weekend?

Friday, May 06, 2016

If you can't drown em, down em!

To forget the sorrows of yesteryear, tonight and tomorrow! Cheers🍺

Night Cap

Time for a Guinness

Painful weekend ahead

It's finally Friday.

A hot, humid afternoon.

The bread was satisfying.

It's the usual annoying thought of the coming Monday blues and the short weekend further shortened by the Saturday lessons to attend. What a pain.

Thursday, May 05, 2016

Permanent Scar, Everlasting Pain

Have been teaching for 1 day shy of 17 weeks.

Sick for almost 2 weeks. A chesty cough trails stubbornly.

A picture of a father with his almost twin-like children stabs the same deep pain in my heart.

I thought only scars are permanent. It seems the pain remains as fresh as a raw wound after almost 8 years.