The funeral

9th May 2013

We arrived at the parlor at 8am.

The first thing we did was to thank the night shift lady who watched over the body in the coffin and all the things in the parlor during the night. And handed her her fees.

Then we went to look at my father's face. Over the hours we kept doing that.

After songs of worship and a brief message from the pastor , I thanked those present and we proceeded to send the coffin to the crematorium.

After a brief song and message, we put flowers on the coffin and the doors of the crematorium were shut.

Lunch and some shopping with Brother in law. Them we were back at the crematorium with my auntie to collect the  ashes and urn. Everything was completed by Thursday 4pm.

Dad passed away

P8th May 2013

At 4:10am his breathing stopped.ol
And he is with The Lord now.t

Scrambled to find the clothes and photographs for the funeral, we quickly made our way to the home to find his body still warm as I touched his cheeks.

Eyes closed, face no longer in distorted pain but breathless, his face depicted a calm, serene look and the edge of his lips curled a faint smile.

Thank God he is relieved of his suffering, the last hurdle having surpassed, he now can rest in peace. Go for a holiday with mum in Heaven ,papa! And someone said later, 'without having to board a plane'.

By 5:30am I sorted out all the documentation, clothes, identity card, shoes, photograph before dad's body was loaded into the back of the hearse by three men, dressed in very dark blue.

T

Before 7am we were at the mamak stall having roti canai, coffee and tea. Then off we headed for homfreshen up a little.

By 8:30am we're off for more errands.

Appointment with the unldertakers at 10am. Meanwhile more calls, messages of condolences from cell group members clogged he phones.

The entire parlor was setup prim and proper by 10am. Dad was dressed up in shirt and tie in a dark suit. Could not help noticing the embalmed look is different from the time he breathed his last where the face waos broader and lips were wide. Now the mouth including the lips are pointed like a bird peck. No longer can I see the faint smile.

The day was definitely the longest for a long, long time. We only went back for a quick shower Obefore appearing again in our stamdard white top, black pants custume at the parlor at 5pm.

Wake service started at 8:30pm. Me and my wife were the only family representative. Fortunately our Cg members who were represented by 3 persons being our greatest consolation.

My uncle AhKu and his wife was first to arrive at around 6:30pm.

Relatives and friends filled the chairs by 8pm.

The opening speech, the worship, the eulogy and the sermon by Pastor Quek

were completed by 10:30pm. The place was alive with conversations till past 11pm. The mood wasn't somber but people were filled with a kind of happiness and gathering.

From the bedside of my dying father (2)

7 th May 2012 5:17pm

Dad have been groaning non stop since morning.
Talked to Emily on the phone and she decided to up morphine dosage to 10ml
from 7.5ml, which was formally 5ml for a very long time.

Tua-Ee came with us in the morning and again in the afternoon with her husband. 7th uncle came twice too, same timing .
Shared about Jesus Christ with him.

Florence came late afternoon about 4pm and it soon rained heavily.

We are trapped here for a while, with the heavy pattering outside.

SH mopped the floor with Dettol ,dad seem to be watching...

At 5:25 groaning is still going on though much softer.

Once in a while I dry those tear drops on the corner of his eyes.

After dinner with uncle Albert and AhKim who visited in the evening, we're back to the home. Felt nausea from all the sight and smell and sound.

Continue to feed him with water after sponging his lips as he groans non stop.
Have requested the Cg to pray for his comfort.

10:29pm Dad is showing signs of gasping
, we will need to check his oxygen level before deciding whether to supply oxygen
to him. 64% recorded. Bad. Oxygen supply is now on.

Oxygen 75% assisted, BP 55/13
Expected to go off tonight or tomorrow morning.

Stayed with dad till 1:30am Wednesday ... still groaning with every breath.
Finally decided to go back to sleep, to come back later in the morning.

From the bedside of my dying father (1)

6 May 2013 10:29pm

He is groaning every now and then. Obstructed by phlegm, he coughs with great effort, yet his strength whimpers off with an almost breathless phlegm filled gasp... He groans in pain again.

At the final stage of in gastric cancer and now on his deathbed at Anzaletta Nursing Home at Jalan Damai, my father's life seemed trailing off day by day.

His frame is reduced into a very large and pronounced cheek and jaw bone.Cheeks and temples sunken,his Adam's apple moved moved up and down as he breathes softly. A tube dangles out if his left nostril. His eyebrows were very bushy with streaks of grey.

His mouth half open, one eye remains half open, though without focus.

His body is reduced to huge sticks of bones, skin creased and dangling miserably.

Once in a while I wake him up and siphoned off some honey drink and drops I to his gaping mouth.

I can hear his breath , still pronounced as his lungs are still unobstructed. Cancer probably has spread to the bones causing him great pain when we lift his limbs or touch him.

Lymph nodes and internal organs have been infected too, so the doctor reported few months ago from the CT scan done long before ,about 2 months back.

This day pisses me off greatly.
The 13th general elections' conduct and results was one reason. The other was dealing with the Singaporean red tape of a downright bitch of my brother's wife who refuses to let me speak to him.

Never mind. I have to move on. Life goes on.

From the bedside of my dying father

6th May 2013

After countless updates sent to my brother in Singapore about my dad's condition since February when he admitted into the nursing home, I got a response. From his wife.
She knew dad is at Anzaletta.

She said they cannot come to see dad as she got her responsibilities. She has to take care of her daughter.

I asked to speak to my brother. She asked me what I want to tell him. Furious, I said that is for me to tell him.

She said she don't think he got anything to say to me. Well I said let him tell that to me in my face. And that I do not need to speak to him through a third party. She keep saying he got nothing to speak to me. So I said I don't need to speak to her. So finally she said she don't want to speak to me.

So I hung up the phone.