Sweet Baboo and her newfound companion.

Sweet Baboo is so comfortable with her newfound companion..

Fearless, Mustafa & Sweet Baboo

Fearless

Mustafa
Sweet Baboo

The offsprings of our lovely mother Bubu.

New Policies & Mottos - 2008

New Policies - 2008 (starting 10 Dec 2007)
1. DON'T ATTEMPT TO PHYSICALLY CHANGE THE IMPOSSIBLE !
2. MENTALLY RELINQUISH SELF AFFLICTED PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURES !
3. NO MORE PLEASING OTHERS !
4. RELINQUISH RESPONSIBILITIES.
5. RELAX CONSCIOUSLY.
6. SPEND MORE FOR SELF
7. ENJOY LIFE MORE
8. LET OBSESSION FOR CLEANLINESS LOOSEN GRIP BY LEARNING TO FACE ANXIETY

New Mottos - 2008
1. You deserve to enjoy more! Look at those i****s around you!
2. You can enjoy life! You just need to loosen up and relax...
3. You can have more wealth. You only need constant confidence & patience.
4. Be mindful of the anxiety. Observe. Don't rush to clean up. Bear with it. (The cleaning ritual reduces anxiety arising from the obsession.)
5. Learn to tolerate the anxiety, the obsession begins to gradually loosen its grip over you.
(Temporary exacerbation in your anxiety may arise as you are not doing the "same old stuff" to relieve your anxiety.)
6. Anxiety is likely to increase before it can decrease. Don't try to distract yourself by doing something or thinking about something else. Keep your mind on the object that increases your tension and let it complete its full course. The anxiety will peak out if you persist. Then, you can relax. Likewise, others can relax around you. You have more time than you ever thought you had.


References:
"Neatfreaks" Can Get Rid Of The Stress by Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D [http://www.mindpub.com/art493.htm]

Bubu, mother of four kittens

This cat turned our life upside in just two months.
Came with 4 kittens inside her as well.

Black tailed with twin patch on the head and a white body - is Bubu the cat.

Anyone wants to provide her kitten/kittens a home ?

They celebrate while I mourn

Just rejected an invitation to celebrate the birthday of a friend/relative's son.

My daughter Jasmine has two birthdays , one in April and one in August.

One for her premature still-born date and the other for her expected due date.

I can never forget the look on her round face.

I shall never attend another birthday celebration.
Only God knows my feeling. Nobody ever will.

My Poem to God

Heard another baby on its way to delivery,
Blurted a few words of congratulatories..

God, please help me..
God, do you really hate me so much ?

God, do you know the pain in my heart?
God, do you enjoy seeing me suffer ?

God, do I deserve this ?

Does everyone else deserves whatever they're getting ?
If they do, then let us not have pity on what happens to anyone ?
If its true,
then let every bad thing turn into its worst; and we should not feel or do a thing about it,
and let every good thing turn better; and we should celebrate as much as we want.

Did everything happen for a reason ? And nothing is too personal ?
If that is so,
then let us act as we wish since there is no difference in who made it happen anyway;
and let us all get impersonal with each other and do whatever we like without strings attached;

What is there left for us to rejoice ?
The world has changed and some have not...
It is these people who are suffering.
They are suffering for you, my dear God.

Please can you take back this world into your arms,
for I do not want it anymore.

15th August 2007:This is supposed to be the day...

15th August 2007

This is supposed to be Jasmine's due date...

The day I am supposed to feel like a proud father, for the first time in my life.
The day I can, like most normal people, procreate and see the results of procreation, first hand.
The day I can look forward to the growing up of my own flesh and blood.
The day I can smell the baby fresh smell of a child I could call my own...
The day I can watch my baby's antics and ways...

But today, it is all dashed away in a harsh and painful way.

The cruel world went on with her ways.

Smashan Tara !
Hare Krishna !
Sri Lakshmi !

Let the world be gone !
All be perished with its cruel ways!!

There's really nothing else to look forward to , is there ?

Enough is enough !

These kites are made for flying

That's just what they'll do

One of these days these kites are gonna fly all over you!

We'd love to gather together but we prefer you go

somewhere far , far away flying your kite.

Mangy dog strikes again.

The mad dog striked again yesterday evening.

It wasn't an ambush.
I could see it coming, cock-eyed and injured from some accidents at home and what-nots.

I normally can take his attacks better than this.
I was still able to maintain my calm and composure, as I fend off the attacks without fighting back.
I wasn't able to think of any ways of attacking him in response to his mangy ways.
Any thoughts of fighting back was firmly under the control.

I am not supposed to fight a mangy dog that can go even nastier, and the result would be disastrous for me in the end.

So the only way, is, to have patience - the same patience I have employed in the past eight years.

Beware, mangy dog! The blood letting tradition has yet to be performed on you - but the day will sure arrive. Meanwhile, let your ego grow and that day will arrive sooner!

The pains of life

The heaviness in the heart weighs and dulls everyday. Sadness loomed at every corner i gaze. Anger stems from every source of children and family oriented tales, sounds and images.

Some stooped in their stubborn belief say this is "self pity".

The anxiety, pain, trauma and shock of bad experiences do affect an individual. There is no denial to effects of total 'experiences'.

The pain in the neck gets worse when lying on bed last night. The morning started with dizzy and aching head that feels like its bursting at the seams.

The wonderful numbing effect of ethanol seeping into the brain took care of the aches for the whole night, well almost.

I remember the nice, peaceful tingling effect of my hair being trimmed by my plump, silver-streaked haired barber the other day. Its been a long time since i last experienced it.

My beloved mother, my beautiful Jasmine

This is the darkest days of my life.

My beloved mother is cancer striken and is undergoing chemotheraphy. It is so painful to see her suffer.

My baby - Jasmine has normal chromosoms. But she left this world before she was born into it.

I hope it will be a blissful afterworld for her.

This shall all end soon.

This shall all end soon.

Disappointments, sadness, anxiety, grief and tears.

That's all there is to my life.