Vertigo Cure

3Ps

Remembering my brother-in-law's words today, he told me to

1. Be Patient in non-believers' idol worships.
2. Be Polite when choosing not to participate with their worships.
3. Be Prayerful as I continue to pray to Our Lord in my own ways.

Eternity

Unless Eternity goes on maternity, I have no use for paternity.

Meanwhile I will wait for Eternity.

Go on, Dig in.

Go on, dig in...

They decided to make a huge hole in front of the house and

make a mess of the front walkway.

Jackasses of Today and Tomorrow

The mangy dog who thinks he the prima donna superstar, the old and ugly poodle that barks incessantly and the beggar upstairs who thinks he rules the world.

Perfect ?

More like PerFUCK!

Sand Storm in a Shoe Box

"...If you are not the custodian of this matter, then you are not welcome to this meeting!!!..", the mangy dog barked in a calculated woof.

The mad dog barked in retaliation, haphazardly.

I looked on as i sat there.

Celebrate what ?

Its nothing to celebrate about, really.

Its just a combination of numbers that points to another incremental number, which we try to make an occasion out of it by blowing candles lit on a piece of bakery laced with cream , chocolate & sugar;
and singing of a silly song;
and clapping of hands (like a bunch of monkeys or clowns if you like)..

The world doesn't revolve around you...

Help!! The walls are spinning around my head today !! I thought they say the world doesn't revolve around me ?. ..hence I have decided against taking Stugeron.

Bad Milk Day

"The whole company is not going to stop working just because you're on leave", the mad cow mooed aloud.

Got bad milk day ?

`SLUM'-berland

Rubbish is piling up. "Don't touch my rubbish!", the guni-karung lady lunged.

Some people enjoy living in slums.

I am trying to get out.

Burden

The worldly ways constantly burdens my weary heart.

Nothing brings relief.

Not even turtles.

Or fishes.

Even the dogs...

It howled pitifully at every 'ploink' of the piano keys. Even the dogs shared my misery as he abused the piano again. And I thought only I couldn't stand it.

Letter from my mentor

Remember that it is not by works or might; you'll never be able to do enough even if you devote 24/7 to any one person. (Everyone else would be neglected and you'll have the guilt of not having done enough.)

God sees the heart. You passed the test of having a difficult sister in law.

Just enjoy the daily moments on this planet and bless people around you.

One of the key people at this period of your life is your dad.

Please send him my greetings and love!

Blessings.

Lonely presence

You see a group of noisy friends, but each of them is really alone in this world.

They say best friends can sit together not saying one word, but that's the best communication you can get - amidst understanding and contentment.. just being present for each other.

Don't be too concerned about the world and the way it works. Stop looking at others and concentrate on the present moment.

Don't even look at yourself in the mirror. Just live in the presence of each day and remember to stay happy.

A broken and contrite heart

It is a consolation to me today to be reminded in the sermon that

1. A broken and contrite heart is precious to God. It is with a broken heart that rebuilding begins.
2. The (rebuilding of) broken heart is a journey.

Praise the Lord.

Stuck in the Slum

Its a cycle.

At some point, when you come to that corner - you are bound to see it. The slums of your life.

Even though you know of its coming , you cannot help but get sucked into its negativities.

Everything sucks and all you want to do is throw in the towel , get out , get away from here.

Damn it.

Shattered

My car window was smashed at the car park.

Nothing was stolen. Father in Heaven, i want to thank you for watching over it.

-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-

The shattered window glass reminds me of a shattered life.

Nothing can bring back the original condition... of our mind frame.

The memories remain and we know its different from the last one.

Can we really forgive and forget ?

LIFE

LIFE is merely a lie without F.

Sunday sermons will be different now

4th July 2009

Last night i learned that Pastor Phillips Koh will not be delivering God's word at FBC anymore.

I felt sad.

Even though it is important for Christians to receive God's word without favouring the deliverer,
i just want to express how much i will miss the connection he seldom fails to make on Sunday mornings.

The enthusiasm of going to Church to hear Pastor Phillips Sermons after worshipping the Lord will somewhat be affected, especially tomorrow.

Well ,if it's Your will, then let it be done.

Praise the Lord!

LOST

3rd July 2009

Over the last few months, I have been feeling rather empty inside me. Life at work didn't help either.

But last night, that emptiness was overwhelming and i just realised i lost something.

I don't know when or how i lost it, but it was gone. It was one thing that kept me sane all this while.. but it was really, really gone. I looked everywhere but could not find it.

I even tried to create it again and showed it to my wife - but she couldn't see it??? To my utter disappointment i realise it cannot be re-created !!!

So long and thanks for everything, Humour.

Naj, rest in peace.

My pool sifu, friend, elder and colleague - Naj left us peacefully on 1st Jan 09 after his prayers in the morning.

What a peaceful way to go.

I salute you , Naj.

May your soul rest in peace with Allah.

I miss you. I am sure we all here do.

Mum , rest in peace.

Saturday, 20th Dec 2008 10:12am.

I sat on the right side of my mother, my father on her left.
'I love you ...'
'I love you ...'
'I love you ...'
Holding on her right hand, i said it three times, half crying.

She took a very weak, shallow breath with difficulty and said ' Pa i'm going' t my father.
We put her back on the bed. She did not take a new breath afterwards.

Pointless

It all its pointlessness...

Utter humiliation & sheer disappointment

My daughter is 6 months and 7 days old today , if she is still alive today.
I am sorry Jasmine, I was not able to do anything to keep your life.

God, Thank you for ridiculing me. It was damn humiliating.
I wondered where were you everyday while we suffered in silence.
O ya, maybe you were standing right there, humiliating me, right ?

It saddens me till today. Tomorrow will most probably be the same, just like yesterday.

Even though I have put our situation entire and squarely on your strong shoulders, I still think about Jasmine till today. I still think of what helplessness we faced squarely and what shattering disappointment that crashed down right on us everytime the baby was pronounced with one terminal news after another right till her death.

Time definitely does not heal, as they all say.

The effects of this humiliating tragedy does not seem like it's going anywhere for a very long time to come. Great ! Your plan has been a great success !! Congratulations !
Let me die in utter disappointment and sheer humiliation !
How more can I thank you ?!! DAMN IT!

I HEREBY REQUEST YOU FOR THE LAST TIME , HELP US !
I am sorry i have to pray in this tone & manner but this is really my last straw.

Cat Riddles

RIDDLE

Question : Why the cat could not find all her emails ?
Answer : Because it was all under the SandBox.

Mustafa is sick

Mustafa is sick.

May he be able to receive the Universal love of the universe
May he recover in God speed.

Sweet Baboo and her newfound companion.

Sweet Baboo is so comfortable with her newfound companion..

Fearless, Mustafa & Sweet Baboo

Fearless

Mustafa
Sweet Baboo

The offsprings of our lovely mother Bubu.

New Policies & Mottos - 2008

New Policies - 2008 (starting 10 Dec 2007)
1. DON'T ATTEMPT TO PHYSICALLY CHANGE THE IMPOSSIBLE !
2. MENTALLY RELINQUISH SELF AFFLICTED PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURES !
3. NO MORE PLEASING OTHERS !
4. RELINQUISH RESPONSIBILITIES.
5. RELAX CONSCIOUSLY.
6. SPEND MORE FOR SELF
7. ENJOY LIFE MORE
8. LET OBSESSION FOR CLEANLINESS LOOSEN GRIP BY LEARNING TO FACE ANXIETY

New Mottos - 2008
1. You deserve to enjoy more! Look at those i****s around you!
2. You can enjoy life! You just need to loosen up and relax...
3. You can have more wealth. You only need constant confidence & patience.
4. Be mindful of the anxiety. Observe. Don't rush to clean up. Bear with it. (The cleaning ritual reduces anxiety arising from the obsession.)
5. Learn to tolerate the anxiety, the obsession begins to gradually loosen its grip over you.
(Temporary exacerbation in your anxiety may arise as you are not doing the "same old stuff" to relieve your anxiety.)
6. Anxiety is likely to increase before it can decrease. Don't try to distract yourself by doing something or thinking about something else. Keep your mind on the object that increases your tension and let it complete its full course. The anxiety will peak out if you persist. Then, you can relax. Likewise, others can relax around you. You have more time than you ever thought you had.


References:
"Neatfreaks" Can Get Rid Of The Stress by Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D [http://www.mindpub.com/art493.htm]

Bubu, mother of four kittens

This cat turned our life upside in just two months.
Came with 4 kittens inside her as well.

Black tailed with twin patch on the head and a white body - is Bubu the cat.

Anyone wants to provide her kitten/kittens a home ?

They celebrate while I mourn

Just rejected an invitation to celebrate the birthday of a friend/relative's son.

My daughter Jasmine has two birthdays , one in April and one in August.

One for her premature still-born date and the other for her expected due date.

I can never forget the look on her round face.

I shall never attend another birthday celebration.
Only God knows my feeling. Nobody ever will.

My Poem to God

Heard another baby on its way to delivery,
Blurted a few words of congratulatories..

God, please help me..
God, do you really hate me so much ?

God, do you know the pain in my heart?
God, do you enjoy seeing me suffer ?

God, do I deserve this ?

Does everyone else deserves whatever they're getting ?
If they do, then let us not have pity on what happens to anyone ?
If its true,
then let every bad thing turn into its worst; and we should not feel or do a thing about it,
and let every good thing turn better; and we should celebrate as much as we want.

Did everything happen for a reason ? And nothing is too personal ?
If that is so,
then let us act as we wish since there is no difference in who made it happen anyway;
and let us all get impersonal with each other and do whatever we like without strings attached;

What is there left for us to rejoice ?
The world has changed and some have not...
It is these people who are suffering.
They are suffering for you, my dear God.

Please can you take back this world into your arms,
for I do not want it anymore.

15th August 2007:This is supposed to be the day...

15th August 2007

This is supposed to be Jasmine's due date...

The day I am supposed to feel like a proud father, for the first time in my life.
The day I can, like most normal people, procreate and see the results of procreation, first hand.
The day I can look forward to the growing up of my own flesh and blood.
The day I can smell the baby fresh smell of a child I could call my own...
The day I can watch my baby's antics and ways...

But today, it is all dashed away in a harsh and painful way.

The cruel world went on with her ways.

Smashan Tara !
Hare Krishna !
Sri Lakshmi !

Let the world be gone !
All be perished with its cruel ways!!

There's really nothing else to look forward to , is there ?

Enough is enough !

These kites are made for flying

That's just what they'll do

One of these days these kites are gonna fly all over you!

We'd love to gather together but we prefer you go

somewhere far , far away flying your kite.

Mangy dog strikes again.

The mad dog striked again yesterday evening.

It wasn't an ambush.
I could see it coming, cock-eyed and injured from some accidents at home and what-nots.

I normally can take his attacks better than this.
I was still able to maintain my calm and composure, as I fend off the attacks without fighting back.
I wasn't able to think of any ways of attacking him in response to his mangy ways.
Any thoughts of fighting back was firmly under the control.

I am not supposed to fight a mangy dog that can go even nastier, and the result would be disastrous for me in the end.

So the only way, is, to have patience - the same patience I have employed in the past eight years.

Beware, mangy dog! The blood letting tradition has yet to be performed on you - but the day will sure arrive. Meanwhile, let your ego grow and that day will arrive sooner!

The pains of life

The heaviness in the heart weighs and dulls everyday. Sadness loomed at every corner i gaze. Anger stems from every source of children and family oriented tales, sounds and images.

Some stooped in their stubborn belief say this is "self pity".

The anxiety, pain, trauma and shock of bad experiences do affect an individual. There is no denial to effects of total 'experiences'.

The pain in the neck gets worse when lying on bed last night. The morning started with dizzy and aching head that feels like its bursting at the seams.

The wonderful numbing effect of ethanol seeping into the brain took care of the aches for the whole night, well almost.

I remember the nice, peaceful tingling effect of my hair being trimmed by my plump, silver-streaked haired barber the other day. Its been a long time since i last experienced it.

My beloved mother, my beautiful Jasmine

This is the darkest days of my life.

My beloved mother is cancer striken and is undergoing chemotheraphy. It is so painful to see her suffer.

My baby - Jasmine has normal chromosoms. But she left this world before she was born into it.

I hope it will be a blissful afterworld for her.

This shall all end soon.

This shall all end soon.

Disappointments, sadness, anxiety, grief and tears.

That's all there is to my life.

Deafening doggone mangy dog!

3rd November 2006

The mangy dog seethed in anger.
It snarled, barked as if insane

Its hair didn't looked too ruffled, skin not putrid or showing signs of decay whatsoever.
Is it suffering from rabies ?

Probably need a jab to calm him down.
Holding on tight to the brass pole, it growls impatiently while I looked for my knife...

He exposes his entire length of its fangs under the folded skin under its nose.
Grrrr.............................

BAW! BAW ! BAW!!!!! His bark thundered across the room, rendering the five of us nearly deaf (in delight).

The sheepish look on the scoundrel's face was demeaningly foolish, to put it mildly.

The bloodletting tradition dated way back into the olden days of the good ol' barbers who doubles up as surgeons is about to be re-enacted.

The blade gleamed from tip to tang under the afternoon sun...

Blessings,Missings and Jerks

Blessings
1. God (Krishna).
2. Wife.
3. Parents, grandmother, brother&family.
4. Father & Mother-in-law & family.
5. Friends - Ravinther, Muthu, Albert&Grace.
6. ChongEu, YinPeng and AiPing

Missings
1. Child

Jerks
1.One Neighbour.
2.Avin.

Drowning or floating

Drowning or floating

Need to float for a while...
Really need to float for a while...
Too much pressure
Too many things happening at the same time
Too much responsibilities

Who do you live for ?

Schipol

Live neither for your friends nor your enemies
They often change sides
In any case, their true selves are neither friends nor enemies.

The petals are red, the stalks green
After they were developed
But look again, its only a wood ornament.

Cheers.

Thieves 2 Me 0 (Current score)

Dexter

The World Cup 2006 in Germany ended in a sour note for me. All our leather shoes were stolen a few hours after the penalty kicks.

So, how does it feel to be in my shoes ?

Remembering Windsor

Isn't she lovely ?

This beautiful and cute girl I met at Windsor Castle, United Kingdom is just so naturally photogenic I cannot resist putting her picture on the blog.

If you see this, my dear friend - - please drop me a note on the blog.

Cheers!

My Best Friend

My best friend

28th March 2006
They say 10 fingers are too many if you count the number of true friends you've got when you reach your 30s..
Well, I couldn't agree more
And she (see picture) is definitely a friend finer than most human i have known and befriended.

Apologies to all my human friends.

Cheers.

So much, so little

21st March 2006

So much to do
so little time to do it

So many headaches
On one head

Maybe that's why they say
Two heads are better than one.

Cheers

Stormed

Stormed

13th March 2006

Flooded, stormed,
In the wake of a string of disasters

Torrential wind flung in different directions,
Rain gushed down

Fear,
and anxiety...

Destruction,
then rebuilding.

Anger and resentment
Questions...

Run

Run

9th March 2006

He ran as fast as he could, up the slope
His tiny blue sandals flapped as he sprinted on the green grass
Pushing himself, he reached the trees at the horizon
Heart thumping fast, gasping for breath..

The triumph of being first
The wait for the rest of his cousins to catch up
Praises of how fast and agile he was rang through his ears
The smiles on the face of the adults..

These are my memories...

Horizon

Horizon

2nd March 2006

Maybe the time is near,
Horizon is clear

Traffic below is manic,
Rise above the panic

The winding road, hard and dry
below the light blue sky

Is it really time to shovel
or really to throw the towel ?

Dead minds shrink alike...

Lion Dance

Lion Dance

6th February 2006
The lion roared into our office today, bobbing its head to the rhythm of drums and cymbals aloud.

Albeit 2 hours late, it still created quite a ruckus among us.
We still welcomed the Lion with much spirit and happiness!

Cheers!

Happy Dog (Y)Ear

Happy Dog (Y)ear

"May the dog ears flap merrily this year"

The dogs are barking at the dead of the night...
The neighbour is quarelling over some issues...

Its going to be one of those worrying time again,
How to be happy, enjoy the moment, live the now,etc..
Life...

Anyway, since its Chinese Lunar New Year;
the year of the dog,
let the doggone past be gone;
and try, at least try, ok - - to celebrate.

Happy Lunar New Year to all, and the dogs too.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Do you remember, Ravi ?

17th January 2006

It was the year 1976.
My first experience of school.
My first found friend, best of friend.
A curly-haired, dark and skinny boy -- straw in his mouth, sipping 'coca-cola' from a plastic bag.

30 years later.

It was 12:03 pm, a hot afternoon.
A tall chap in his bright red shirt stood across the street looking at me.
Off we went for lunch -- just as we did together in the school canteen.

Cheers.

Karmic Knot

6th Jan 2006
An important, week-long holiday loomed in the corner without a single plan. Decisions, decisions.

Extended karmic learnings from 2005
When you fail to resolve a karmic-knot within tolerable time;
and no matter how many knots you get in a year,
You patiently face it till the knots' time is up;
because like you, each karmic-knot has its lifespan too.

If you still cannot wait that long,
Then the knot waits till your time is up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Last weekend was spent in a vegetable-like manner. Drowsy most of the time.
Soul was distinctly felt alienated from the body; creeping into the heart to hide away.
Feels good , though slightly melancholic.

Happy Contemplating.

Hainanese Chicken Rice

Some of you stumbled upon this blog while looking for chicken rice recipes. (not surprising)
So I thought I should at least have my favourite Hainanese Chicken Rice recipe here.

Hainanese chicken rice recipe, adapted to my personal preference.

Serves 4
INGREDIENTS:

Chicken:1 whole chicken, about 3 pounds
1 teaspoon salt
2 cloves garlic, peeled
4 slices fresh ginger, peeled
4 scallions, trimmed
about 12 cups water
2 tablespoons sesame oil
sliced tomatoes (garnish)
sliced cucumbers (garnish)
cilantro sprigs/coriander (garnish)

Chicken Rice:
2 cups long-grain rice
2 tablespoons peanut oil
5 shallots, peeled and minced
5 cloves garlic, minced
3-1/2 cups reserved stock from cooking chicken
1/2 teaspoon salt

PREPARATION:
Wash chicken and remove excess fat. Rub the inside of the cavity with salt.
Smash garlic and ginger slightly with the flat of a knife. Tie scallions into a knot.
Place garlic, ginger, and scallions inside the chicken cavity.
Bring the water to a boil in a pot large enough to hold the chicken.
Add the chicken, breast-side down.
Simmer, covered, 30-40 minutes, turning chicken halfway through the cooking process, until chicken is done (juices from thigh should run clear when pricked with a fork).
Carefully remove chicken, draining liquid from body cavity back into the pot.
Reserve the stock to make chicken rice.
Plunge the chicken into ice water for 5 minutes to stop the cooking process and tighten the skin. Drain, rub with sesame oil, and let cool to room temperature.
To serve, chop chicken into bite-size pieces (the Chinese do this bone and all) and arrange on a platter.
Garnish with sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, and cilantro sprigs.

To make the chicken rice, wash the rice and drain in a colander. Let stand 1/2 hour to dry.
Heat oil in a wok. Add the shallots and garlic. Stir-fry until fragrant. Add rice grains and stir-fry 3-4 minutes, until glossy and fragrant.
Transfer to a saucepan.
Add the chicken broth and salt.
Bring to a boil over high heat and boil until the liquid level evaporates to the level of the rice and steam holes appear.
Turn heat to low.
Cover and simmer 40 minutes. Serve with Hainanese chicken.

Serve with Chili Sauce

Chili Sauce recipe
INGREDIENTS:
About 2 ounces fresh red chilies, seeded1 ounce garlic, peeled1 ounce fresh ginger, peeled3 to 4 teaspoons lime juice1/2 teaspoon salt

PREPARATION:Combine chilies, shallots, garlic, and ginger in a food processor or blender and process to a paste.

Enjoy!

True essence of your existence

True essence of your existence

When you are really sick or suffering, when you feel you are at the edge of your life, remember..

"Your body is not the true essence of your existence;
Think of the snow flakes falling freely, its temporary form..
.. is ever changing." - I read this 25 years ago without understanding what it meant.

"The true essence of this life that you are living is the soul." I now think I understand what it meant but still do NOT see or own the knowledge like it's mine - even though I am closer to this body than anyone else I know.

Blessed may we be.

(My) Lady in Red

My Lady in Red

"Is this ok ?", she quipped as she stood facing me.

She wore a fitting bright red jacket, unbuttoned.
Under it was a sweet, cream dress with miniature flower imprints.
The bright red, the fit at her waist, the flower buds on the soft cream... So sweet, so nice.

"So sweet , so nice. If I have a camera..", I said.

Cheers.

Horrendous weekend work schedule

8th November 2005

Horrendous weekend work schedule

Two more horrendous, continuous weekend work schedule..
..that's what I need to spice up my life.

We need healthier lives. We do.

Inner wants, outer wants

21st October 2005.

Inner wants, outer wants.

Desires can be categorised widely into two categories.

Those we can understand and hence more openly discussed (eg desire to own a bigger house) and those we cannot easily understand or discuss (desire for enlightenment, psychological freedom, sexual desires, etc).

Desires, however are not so clear-cut all the time - many lie somewhere in between "easily understood" and "totally out of our mental grasp".

We shall call materialistic and easily understood desires ''Outer desires" and inner and less easily understood desires ''Inner desires'' for ease of further reading.

Inner desires tend to pile-up in our minds more so than outer desires because we mentally slip them under the mental carpet when we have difficulty dealing with them.

Under the mental carpet (or we call the subconscious mind), complex layering of these desires creates a mesh of mental pattern. When the pile-up is not slowed down, a mental mess of desires produces frustrations, emotions, ego and various other side effects.

Cravings for material items and materialistic actions can be symptoms of unfulfillment of outer, materialistic desires. Such unfulfilled can be the result of deeper, unfulfilled inner desires.

. . .

Enough of mental knotting for today,
Cheers.

Dead Rat

18th Oct 2005

Rat dead.
A bloody incident.
1 hour.
A stick in hand within an enclosed room.
Occassional spraying of insecticide.
Dead.
Bloody dead.

It deserved it, that bloody rat.

Rat-faced boy

17th August 2005

Rat-faced boy.

The rat faced boy was asking for trouble again last week.

My level of tolerance rose again that day. I have gained a new level of patience for that rat-faced french when he started hurtling offensive and abusive words at me.

After a continuous bombardment of offensive words, I decided to cut that rodent off its trail of offensive biting and chewing of facts right off his stinking and foul mouth. I roared at it, leaving the jutted teethed rodent squirming '.. you don't have to shout at me...'

I guess he seriously need to chew on some warfarin.
That rotten rat !

16th Sept 2005

16th Sept 2005

Hare Krishna!
Dear Lord Krishna, the Lord of the Universe
Please be merciful on this tiny soul trapped in this body i call mine

I sense some peace
after 11 hours of tense headache
since 8 in the morning today
And it will all start over again, next monday

Dear Lord Krishna
My blue Krishna boy
I seek only your protection from the mess,
the stress..

Hare Krishna.

Being human beings.. frustrated, dissatisfied lot

FDL - Frustrated, dissatisfied lot

The internet line had been pretty slow and congested all day long.
Contacted the local ISP (Internet Service Provider) but they took time to solve.

My boss came stomping to our department and started lashing his tongue like a green eyed monster gone beserk.

When things went smoothly, nobody bothers.
Once a speck of dust gets into their way, hell break loose.

The frustrated and dissatisfied lot...
Being human beings, its simply understandable...

Goose in Hand

A new idiom for my dear wife.

"A wild goose in hand is worth a flock chased around the bush".

Adapted from the wild goose chase and bird in the bush idioms, inspired by the Wild Goose Qigong.

Please guide us, Lord Krishna

Please guide us, Lord Krishna

Dear Lord Krishna

My humble obeisances unto You, the Lord, the Begining and End of Everything,
The One and Only Who Controls and Orchestrates everything;
Words and expressions cannot measure up to the awe and respect my tiny soul has for You.
My utmost respect and obeisances unto You, My dear Lord Krishna.

Again,
My Lord, i thank You for all your care, comfort and special attention you have showered,
i know that i do not deserve it, though i need and beg You for it,
Thank You my dear Lord Krishna.

My dear Lord, again, i am begging You
to guide and shower me with Your will, Your care, comfort and your so special attention,
As You already know, i feel pressurized by the future, which is in Your total control,
against so many comments and opinions and i only hope to thrive in the comfort of You,
Therefore my dear Lord Krishna,
Please do guide me within Your flawless plans which is sanctioned by You,
Through me and my wife as Your instruments may we receive, nuture, love and be loved in the coming of a baby boy this year.

Hare Krishna

The Holey Roof... Part II

The leak still goes on... (for now)

- The external kitchen roof still leaks.
- The master bedroom leaks.

Even though these were recently fixed :
- The external kitchen roof had a new layer of zinc at the leaking location.
- The roof above the Master bedroom was re-checked and tarred.

Thankfully,
- There is almost no leak from the car porch ceiling (So far I only spotted 1 single, hanging water droplet yesterday)
- There were two occasions where the internal kitchen leaked water. It was fixed again, with a zinc sheet above the hinge between the wall and the neighbour's roof.

I think I am calmer now as compared to before.

Treat things that happen as Karma that has ripen.
Treat hurting words like arrows that I transform into flowers as they arrive.

Ohm....

黑锅 - Black Pot

我 不 要 背 你 的 黑 锅 !

呸 !!!

头痛

今天我觉得头很痛.

人生就是这样, 多灾 多难, 身老病逝.

好痛苦嗄...

然而, 祝你们周末快乐!

Seed of the Weed, Timebombs, Calamities

Seed of the Weed
Generally when people are not faced with serious difficulties in their lives, their minds wander and tend to create problems for the community.

Timebombs
The timebomb ticks away every second in the community where people sow discontent by means of wandering minds and wagging tongues.

Calamities
Is when people are thrown back into basic mode of their life - tending to their basic needs.

My father was right. In his own words, "When they are too free, they create problems!".

Hare Krishna.

HEN

HEN - Headache, Eyes, Neck

Head-ache, around the temple and eyes.
Eyes-painful, feels like they're popping out.
Neck-ache, stressed muscles.

Cluck, cluck, cluck.
Groan...

Thirty Years Later

Thirty Years Later (Deja vu)

Deja vu. I am experiencing the same situation I faced when I was a child. Once as a little child I was attending a funeral. There, I thought to myself, "I do not feel sad.I think I could laugh. Am I feeling neutral or do I not have compassion ?"

Thirty years later. I ask myself again the same question when I see so many scenes of suffering around me for so many years, including my own.

Reassessment:
I have suffered - emotionally and physically in the past thirty years. The fear remains there to haunt me now and then. The sympathy I have for others seemed to have faded - knowing that it does not really help.

Dharma(Duties/Path). Temporary Dharma of the body, Eternal Dharma of the soul. Eternity is beyond me. Can only see the immediate, hence, only performing my duties.

Passion. Losing it.
Security, Trust in others. Lost both.
Senses. Still there, I think.
Attachment. Definitely there - to Dharma, Senses.

Hare Krishna.

Hot Honey Lemon Drink

Hot Honey Lemon Drink (for flu)
2 tablespoons of pure honey
1 glass of hotwater
Quarter of lemon juice

Take with 2 paracetamol (for adult)

Cheers.

Important Dates

Important Dates

Base : 26 day cycle
Test #1 : Monday Afternoon, 3rd Jan 2005
Test #2 : Tuesday Afternoon 4th Jan 2005
Test #3 : Wednesday Afternoon 5th Jan 2005

Prediction:
SF : Tuesday 4th Jan 2005
F : Wednesday 5th Jan 2005 (24hrs before)
VF : Thursday 6th Jan 2005

Hare Krishna.

Top Six

Six top items in mind

1. Head & Shoulder massage
2. Walk, run, sweat it out
3. Sumptuous dinner
4. TV
5. Beer and Chocoate
6. Sex and Sleep

Cheers.

The Holey Roof..Fixed

It had been a rough week.

Monday
Back from Singapore and Johor. What a trip.
I thought the drive would kill me, but instead, the walk did.
My legs felt like breaking after the long, long walk at Orchard Road, Singapore.

Saturday
Materials, materials, materials... for the roof.
Zinc sheets RM24.30 per sheet X 20 Sheets
Red Roof tiles, joints, cement, screws, bitumen, glue,etc
All came to RM550.

Sunday
Finally got the roof fixed, I hope. A full day's work from 8am right up to 7:00pm.
Sent workers back, back home (which is in a mess) ,had dinner till 8pm.
Worked straight till 10:30pm.
Showered, hit the bed.

Next day was back to work.

So far so good.

Thank you, Anuar.
Hare Krishna!

Solitude or Company

Solitude or Company

Do I like solitude or do I despise company ?

In this senseless world, solitude gives me the sense of peace. Solitude sets my mind free to wander, to create, to discover.... to be free. Selfish, senseless company robs away peace and shreds concentration into loose, unfocused thoughts.

I despise company and prefers solitude because there is no quality in today's company.

Quality company doesn't rely on any physical or verbal interactions.
In quality company, our mere presence is enough to enrich the heart, mind and soul; and brings peace to all present. Sometimes they call it the effulgence of shaktipat emitted from the saints that brings us peace.

Ohm Shanti, Hare Krishna !

Beware of CON-tractors

Wasted the entire day yesterday - waiting for the tardy, sluggish, snobbish, conniving, unscrupulous contractor didn't turn up.

He even refused to acknowledge his tardiness when he was running late for his work appointment. Even tried to question my work timing as a customer.

He just lost a customer for life the moment he hung up.

I have also registered his contacts into the www.complaints.com.my site to warn the public of his work quality, tardiness and non-professional behaviour.

I am sure I will not be the last of his victims but I sure hope that less people will fall into the trap I have fallen into before.

I have lost money and time. That's all right, I will work to replenish that.

Hare Krishha.

What to have for dinner tonight

Secret Recipe ?
Pizza Hut ?

Prayers for the leaking roof, rotting wood, wet floor & dampen heart

Prayers for the leaking roof, rotting wood, wet floor & dampen heart

Dear Lord

The roof of the house is leaking in four major areas.

The car porch - the leakages is back and getting worse after a heavy rain over the weekend.
The wet kitchen - leakages won't go away, even after a repair.
The dry kitchen - leakage was back after the repair. Have draped a piece of plastic to temporarily stop the leak.
The master bedroom - a new leakage.

My dear Lord Krishna, my humble obeisances unto You.
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare,
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare.

Dear Lord, please support me like you always do
Dear Lord, please give me strength to face all the problems of the house
Dear Lord, please encourage me, please help me
Dear Lord, please nurture me, like you always do

Dear Lord, please help the house, for it is leaking and it is suffering
It is crying, tears are dripping and lining down the walls
Its floors are wet and ceilings damp whenever it rains
And my heart sinks and heavy when i hear the rain

I always love the rain for it is refreshing and its from you
But now, my heart weighs down with pain and worry when its wet outside
Dear Lord, please have pity on the house for it is from you for me
Dear Lord, please give me time and energy to devote to you and things you bless me with.

Amen.

Fun, strenous, happy and tired weekend

What a weekend.

Sunday was especially fun, strenous, happy and tired.

Managed to glue back some loose parquets in the master bedroom and varnish it by lunch time.
Then discovered some tiny water leakage in the bathroom in the same room, which became
a major leak when the pipe snapped.

Took some time to unscrew the bolt from the sink, rushed out with my wife to buy the replacement part. Tried to install the new pipe but a speck of sand got into my eyes and had to stop. Washed eyes and finally got the sand out after some 15 minutes. Got back to the job
and finally completed it.

Went to father-in-law's factory to help out with some packaging work for about an hour an a half.

Visited Mr.Lim's grandmother's.

Wife discovered its GuanYin's birthday tomorrow and proceeded to buy flowers, rice cakes and joss paper.

Had ginger tea at Steven's. Packed dinner - White rice and fried chicken (free curry).

Remembered that I haven't donated anything to Krishna's temple and proceeded to the temple to offer my respect and humble obeisances. Donated some cash. Went back to the car. Went back to temple to donate some more cash for wife. Back to the car.

Back home.

Had dinner.

Read paper.

Bedtime.

Yawn!

Violence is Golden

Violence is Golden (tears are in the eyes)

I hurt myself deep inside
Seeing all the sufferings here
Oh don't it pain to tear with no cry
Oh how painful it is to suffer here

Violence is golden, tears but still no cry
Violence is golden, golden, tears are in the eyes

Talking is cheap, she always fall asleep
Even though i slog for her on the go
How could I suffer so well, i don't know
Pity me, deprived though she know

How many times facing the wall cracklines
Should I tell her off again or try to keep cool
And even if I tried it makes no difference if i cried
Keep to myself, just hurt myself like a fool

Violence is golden, tears but still no cry
Violence is golden, golden, tears are in the eyes

Port Dickson

What a weekend !

About an hour and a half drive to Port Dickson on a rainy Saturday.

Dinner was great. The steamed fish we had at the local restaurant.
The beach was fun. The sand, the soak, the crabs.
Had great fun with my wife and her sister.

Was a little tired on Monday though.

Now we are contemplating about a trip to Singapore...

AFA (Arrogant Fat Arse)

He! The arrogant fat arse never admit his mistake
The arrogant fat arse puts up an aristocratic front, a fake!

The arrogant fat arse thinks he is right all the time
The arrogant fat arse is full of shit, lard, diseases and medicine, thinking he's fine

...to be continued

The Fat Arse Song (YMCA)

The Fat Arse Song - sung in the tune of YMCA

Fat arse ! you're bringing everyone down
I said, fat arse ! Shit your arse out of this world!
I said, fat arse ! cause you're a selfish clown
There's no need for you in this world

Fat arse ! there's a place you can go
I said, fat arse ! when you're fat and short of breath
You can get your arse there, and I'm sure we'll all
have much good time and get you a wreath

Its good for you to stay put in hell
Its good for you to stay put in hell

They have everything
For you to toil
You can eat all the soil

Its good for you to stay put in hell
Its good for you to stay put in hell

You can get your arse pried
You can get your arse fried
You can cry whenever you feel
Fat arse! Are you listening to me I said, Fat arse,
How do you want to be skinned, I said, Fat arse,
you can dump all your dreams
and you've got to know this one thing

Fat arse, fucked up all by yourself
I said, fat arse, stuff your pride into your arse
And just let it stay there, till you go to he-ell
I'm sure hell can help you today

Its good for you to stay put in hell
Its good for you to stay put in hell

They have everything
For you to toil
You can eat all the soil

Its good for you to stay put in hell
Its good for you to stay put in hell

You can get your arse pried
You can get your arse fried
You can cry whenever you feel
Fat arse! No one was ever like your arse
I say, you're fat, idiotic, ugly and aghast
I say, who cares if you are alive
We want to skin you alive
That's when everyone comes up to you
And said Fat arse! take the crap off your arse
There's a place there called the H.E.L.L
They can start you back on your way

Its good for you to stay put in hell
Its good for you to stay put in hell

They have everything
For you to toil
You can eat all the soil

H.E.L.L. Its good for you to stay put in hell
Its good for you to stay put in hell

Fat arse, Fat arse, you better go to hell now
Fat arse, Fat arse, we don't want you to be around

H.E.L.L You had better stay put in hell
Fat arse, Fat arse, stuff your arse with a goose
Fat arse, Fat arse, don't leave home without your goose.

Busy Bee

A nursery rhyme inspired from our Mr. Lim from Singapore.

Busy Bee

Busy Bee..
Make Honee,
Sell at Pasar Tanee,
Where everything you can see
except the local babee.

Cheers!

Letter to my wife

My dear wife,

Life is fleeting, moments disappear like snow-melting,
When water crystalizes into snow-flakes, it is GOD intended.

Create moments, like giving me a hug, telling me you love me, holding my hands...
Create good moments with intention to express your love for me, like I do for you.

Water crystalizes into beaufiful snow-flakes,
And melts away naturally for us to create yet another beautiful one.

Let us enjoy & appreciate Life
And love each other forever.

You are my sweet one, always,
Composed from the heart of your deer.

Deer.

Thank God its Friday

Thank God its Friday !

Got to do these things tomorrow
1. To collect document for my wife at the local post office.
2. To supervise roof fixing.
3. To service car.
4. Buy mooncakes for in-laws.

May be too ambitious.
Because on top of that, there is the usual house cleaning, visitations to in-laws and other possible surprises that may crop up.

Fortunately, I don't have to work tomorrow. (Well that's if I don't consider all the above 'Work')

Happy Week-ending!

What intrigues her

An inventory of food/activity/moods/seasons that intrigues my wife.

They are:
Sushi : Cute, intricate, neat, delicate food.
High Tea : Highclass, lazy, relaxing environment, food
'Piglet' Biscuits : mooncake festival, lanterns
Romantic movies : While you were sleeping, Sleepless in Seattle
Christmas: Mistletoe, kissing, jingle bells

Happy Mooncake Festival!

The 5pm Frenzy

Come 5pm, everyone in the company here are like idiots or zombies that suddenly awoke from their slumber.

I have to go now. Its 5pm.

Chow.

Idiots collect a thousand dollars for another idiot

An idiot resigned and the remaining idiots collected a thousand dollars to buy him presents and to celebrate the event.

I really regretted pitching in my hard earned money when I found just now that they bought him liquor, blow-up doll and voucher at some spa.

I must learn my lessons well.

Next time, I'll say
"Might be pitching in with someone else" or
"I am thinking of getting something for him personally", etc.

I must learn my lessons well.
I must learn my lessons well.
I must learn my lessons well.

God please bless me.
Hare Krishna.

Jaya's

Left office early yesterday 5:10 pm.

Went to laze at Jaya's place.

Talked, looked at photos of his newly acquired home and had toast and tea. Jaya has two new girlfriends in Penang ! So he's been busy travelling to Penang in the weekends.

Had dinner with wife at the mall where she attended a seminar.
Spent some time at the pharmacy and later at the CD outlet.

Then it was home - TV, newspaper and good time with my wife.

Looking forward to the weekend already.

Gimme a rest, please...

Got a headache and stuffy nose for the past few days.
Suspect its the office air conditioner, though I have no proof.

Or the general condition of air in the dry weather these days.
Driving past various construction activity laden areas around Kuala Lumpur, I can hardly get a clear vision whenever I look ahead.

And I have to work tomorrow ! Arrghh!

The good things that happened yesterday were
1. Anwar Ibrahim, our ex-deputy Prime Minister during Mahathir's time has been freed of all his charges.
2. Managed to take a brisk walk with my wife outside the house, after so many months with no exercise.

I need a break !

Merdeka! at Pulau Ketam

The speedboat ride to Pulau Ketam yesterday was fast, or maybe because we were fast asleep...
Pulau Ketam (Crab Island) has
- Lots of garbage everywhere (almost everything is strewn under the houses that stood on their stilts)
- Old and nostalgic way of life, the single mode of transport being the bicycle (some motor-driven).
- Unique house front-design/deco. The front of the houses often has frames with its insides decorated with flower designs. Often there is a chinese word design above the front door too.
- 'Datuk'-altars in front of most houses. Most of the dwellers are chinese. In fact I only saw one single malay guy who was selling apam-balik on the streets.
- The altar within the houses are often visible from their front doors/windows and you will notice an extra large frame (approximately 6 feet by 12 feet) depicting the 'Datuk' diety. Very colourful, they were.

The wait for lunch was about 40 minutes , much longer than the wait for our ferry ride.
Thanks to the public holiday crowd.

The best thing we tasted was the ABC, also called the Ais Kacang.

If one day, Pulau Ketam folks decide to dispose all their rubbish under their houses, the sea level will up a centimetre or two, me thinks. They'd better start up some form of rubbish collection or disposal soon...

Meanwhile, the rodents seem to love it.

Merdeka ! Merdeka ! Merdeka !

Torturous Sunday

Yesterday was torturous, healthwise.

Upon reaching my in-law's place I began to experience shortness of breath.

It was mostly waiting for prayers (to the dieties) preparations in the morning.

After a sumptuous (but late) lunch, my stomach began to produce lots of wind.
From then on, it was a continuous 4 hours of belching and..., you know what. (My wife and I call it 'feel like a rocket').

In the evening, a different prayer was carried out - the Hungry Ghost Festival.
Red candles, incense, biscuits and lots of Hell notes, Gold ingots, clothings were burnt for our friends in the nether world.

Then it was dinner and back home. TV and bed ensued.

Yawn!...

Japanese ex-Boss

My ex-boss emailed me from Japan today.
Surprising. I just dreamed about him last night.

Think I'll be meeting the Malaysian Premier, Mr. Badawi soon.
Dreamed of him night before.

Tired neck, shoulders and need a good massage...

24th August 2002

Got a headache, neck-ache and painful eyeballs this morning.

The good memory for today is ..
.. its our 2nd year anniversary for knowing each other. Me and my wife.

24th August 2002, Saturday.
Was at Jaya's place till about 5pm. Went back for a bath.
Drove to town to meet my ex-colleague, who was to introduce me to his wife's sister.
Nearly got lost. Almost couldn't make it to the pre-arranged meeting place.
Fortunately, still made it, albeit late.

Thanks to my ex-colleague, now my brother-in-law, she is now my sweet wife.

I love you , my dear wife.

Nursery songs for the racially challenged

Ten Big Indian Men

Vun bigga, too bigga, tree bigga Yindian
For bigga, faive bigga, shicks bigga Yindian
Sheven bigga, yait bigga, Naine bigga Yindian
Taaaaaann bigga Yindian Men !

Tan bigga, naine bigga, yait bigga Yindian
Sheven bigga, shicks bigga, faive bigga Yindian
For bigga, tree bigga, too bigga Yindian
Vuuuuuuunn bigga Yindian Maaaan !!!

Vaaaaaanakam !

Kuala Kubu Baru

A leisurely drive to KKB on Sunday late morning.

It was a good trip.

The laid back, life in KKB.
The coffee shop - the tea, butter-kaya toast, homemade chinese herbal tea...
The chinese coffee shop styled restaurant...
The hainanese fare at the Rumah Rehat Kerajaan Golf View..
The kaya puffs at the local cake shop..
The fresh homemade kaya...

And all the friendly people of Kuala Kubu Baru.

What a place !

Dear Lord Krishna

Dear Lord Krishna

You are the Lord of the Universe, the supreme personality of Godhead. I offer my humble obeisances unto You.

My entire being depends on You, my Lord Krishna;
I helplessly cling onto you for love and protection all the time;
I helplessly cry in your arms for love and comfort;
I helplessly seek for you all the time.

Please may I surrender my life to you, my dear Lord Krishna;
Please may I always have you in my mind, in my life;
Please may I always be in your eternal love;
Please may I always be in your protection and care;
Please may I be in your care all the time.

Dear Lord,
Please, may my wife be protected by You always;
Please, may my wife be healthy always;
Please, may my wife be kind and thoughtful to me always;
Please, may my wife be loving to me always;

Dear Lord,
Please, may a healthy son be borned unto us soon;
Please, may our healthy son be brought up with ease and comfort;
Please, may our son be a devotee of YOU the Lord always;
Please, may our son be mindful of YOU the Lord all his life;
Please, may our son be good to the WORLD which belongs to YOU, our Lord;
Please, may our son be brought up by us with good morals;
Please, may our son be resourceful in his life and
may our son serve YOU, the Lord, in his capacity and means;

Thank You My Lord.

It was fun laughing like this again

Nope, no homecooked dinner last nite. Instead had pizza for dinner with my dear wife.
Followed by shopping. We bought a pair of slippers for me and some clothes for her and her niece.

Had a nice cool beer and muruku last night before bedtime.

Then just before bedtime, i laughed till my tummy ached just looking at how she exercised. She totally lacked the coordination.

It was fun laughing like this again.

Hahaha!

Dinner

I am eager to go back and have a home cooked dinner today.

Most probably it will be fish, maybe steamed fish, I think. Vege and rice too.

My dear wife will cook of course.