2017

2017 chinese new year shuffled through my bout of flu, sore throat and cough, which still subjects me to much suffering. Seems to be losing my voice again. The cough stubbornly lingers on.

Thankfully, other than that cny was uneventful.

But i have yet to sail through this episode.

Nobody will take pity of my share of woe and at most will just pay lip service.

I will stand up, wipe away my tears, stand up, smile and continue my walk.

The powers above seems to continously tear down the skies, land, buildings, vehicles, people and their minds.

There is no stopping to it now.

Better go to sleep now.

Hope... lost

Once i held one Hope with both palms. I held Hope so dearly, scooped within both palms, close to my heart, with fear of losing them as well as with faith of it's full bloom one day.

Hope dropped off my hands inadvertently but with steadfast faith, i scooped Hope back into my palms. Torn and tattered, i held Hope even more dearly - recounting my mistakes and misadventures. Nursing Hope back was frought with uncountable despairs, cries and hopelessness. When Hope was nursed back to a state better better than its worst but scarred and significantly weakened than before, Hope saw another light. Faith soared high again! Holding Hope closer to my quickening heart, I stepped forward squeezing out every ounce of energy I could see from within my sinews. I soldiered on even more steadfastly.

But alas Hope 's light dimmed and my surrounding was dark and stormy. Pressure mounted. With even more strength and reserve resources, I spent them all for Hope. Then...a glimpse of starlight appeared..... for a few days.

The world fell on me ever since.

Hope was snatched off my palms only replaced with twin tragedies. Now in my palms are the empty shape where Hope once sat, through many storms and tunnels of lights. My heart now beats to absence of Hope. The third tragedy joined any dragged the Twins. The treesome claws, pulls, punch, scowls and hurls profanities at me all day long.

....