Bubu, mother of four kittens

This cat turned our life upside in just two months.
Came with 4 kittens inside her as well.

Black tailed with twin patch on the head and a white body - is Bubu the cat.

Anyone wants to provide her kitten/kittens a home ?

They celebrate while I mourn

Just rejected an invitation to celebrate the birthday of a friend/relative's son.

My daughter Jasmine has two birthdays , one in April and one in August.

One for her premature still-born date and the other for her expected due date.

I can never forget the look on her round face.

I shall never attend another birthday celebration.
Only God knows my feeling. Nobody ever will.

My Poem to God

Heard another baby on its way to delivery,
Blurted a few words of congratulatories..

God, please help me..
God, do you really hate me so much ?

God, do you know the pain in my heart?
God, do you enjoy seeing me suffer ?

God, do I deserve this ?

Does everyone else deserves whatever they're getting ?
If they do, then let us not have pity on what happens to anyone ?
If its true,
then let every bad thing turn into its worst; and we should not feel or do a thing about it,
and let every good thing turn better; and we should celebrate as much as we want.

Did everything happen for a reason ? And nothing is too personal ?
If that is so,
then let us act as we wish since there is no difference in who made it happen anyway;
and let us all get impersonal with each other and do whatever we like without strings attached;

What is there left for us to rejoice ?
The world has changed and some have not...
It is these people who are suffering.
They are suffering for you, my dear God.

Please can you take back this world into your arms,
for I do not want it anymore.

15th August 2007:This is supposed to be the day...

15th August 2007

This is supposed to be Jasmine's due date...

The day I am supposed to feel like a proud father, for the first time in my life.
The day I can, like most normal people, procreate and see the results of procreation, first hand.
The day I can look forward to the growing up of my own flesh and blood.
The day I can smell the baby fresh smell of a child I could call my own...
The day I can watch my baby's antics and ways...

But today, it is all dashed away in a harsh and painful way.

The cruel world went on with her ways.

Smashan Tara !
Hare Krishna !
Sri Lakshmi !

Let the world be gone !
All be perished with its cruel ways!!

There's really nothing else to look forward to , is there ?

Enough is enough !

These kites are made for flying

That's just what they'll do

One of these days these kites are gonna fly all over you!

We'd love to gather together but we prefer you go

somewhere far , far away flying your kite.

Mangy dog strikes again.

The mad dog striked again yesterday evening.

It wasn't an ambush.
I could see it coming, cock-eyed and injured from some accidents at home and what-nots.

I normally can take his attacks better than this.
I was still able to maintain my calm and composure, as I fend off the attacks without fighting back.
I wasn't able to think of any ways of attacking him in response to his mangy ways.
Any thoughts of fighting back was firmly under the control.

I am not supposed to fight a mangy dog that can go even nastier, and the result would be disastrous for me in the end.

So the only way, is, to have patience - the same patience I have employed in the past eight years.

Beware, mangy dog! The blood letting tradition has yet to be performed on you - but the day will sure arrive. Meanwhile, let your ego grow and that day will arrive sooner!

The pains of life

The heaviness in the heart weighs and dulls everyday. Sadness loomed at every corner i gaze. Anger stems from every source of children and family oriented tales, sounds and images.

Some stooped in their stubborn belief say this is "self pity".

The anxiety, pain, trauma and shock of bad experiences do affect an individual. There is no denial to effects of total 'experiences'.

The pain in the neck gets worse when lying on bed last night. The morning started with dizzy and aching head that feels like its bursting at the seams.

The wonderful numbing effect of ethanol seeping into the brain took care of the aches for the whole night, well almost.

I remember the nice, peaceful tingling effect of my hair being trimmed by my plump, silver-streaked haired barber the other day. Its been a long time since i last experienced it.

My beloved mother, my beautiful Jasmine

This is the darkest days of my life.

My beloved mother is cancer striken and is undergoing chemotheraphy. It is so painful to see her suffer.

My baby - Jasmine has normal chromosoms. But she left this world before she was born into it.

I hope it will be a blissful afterworld for her.

This shall all end soon.

This shall all end soon.

Disappointments, sadness, anxiety, grief and tears.

That's all there is to my life.

Deafening doggone mangy dog!

3rd November 2006

The mangy dog seethed in anger.
It snarled, barked as if insane

Its hair didn't looked too ruffled, skin not putrid or showing signs of decay whatsoever.
Is it suffering from rabies ?

Probably need a jab to calm him down.
Holding on tight to the brass pole, it growls impatiently while I looked for my knife...

He exposes his entire length of its fangs under the folded skin under its nose.
Grrrr.............................

BAW! BAW ! BAW!!!!! His bark thundered across the room, rendering the five of us nearly deaf (in delight).

The sheepish look on the scoundrel's face was demeaningly foolish, to put it mildly.

The bloodletting tradition dated way back into the olden days of the good ol' barbers who doubles up as surgeons is about to be re-enacted.

The blade gleamed from tip to tang under the afternoon sun...

Blessings,Missings and Jerks

Blessings
1. God (Krishna).
2. Wife.
3. Parents, grandmother, brother&family.
4. Father & Mother-in-law & family.
5. Friends - Ravinther, Muthu, Albert&Grace.
6. ChongEu, YinPeng and AiPing

Missings
1. Child

Jerks
1.One Neighbour.
2.Avin.

Drowning or floating

Drowning or floating

Need to float for a while...
Really need to float for a while...
Too much pressure
Too many things happening at the same time
Too much responsibilities

Who do you live for ?

Schipol

Live neither for your friends nor your enemies
They often change sides
In any case, their true selves are neither friends nor enemies.

The petals are red, the stalks green
After they were developed
But look again, its only a wood ornament.

Cheers.

Thieves 2 Me 0 (Current score)

Dexter

The World Cup 2006 in Germany ended in a sour note for me. All our leather shoes were stolen a few hours after the penalty kicks.

So, how does it feel to be in my shoes ?

Remembering Windsor

Isn't she lovely ?

This beautiful and cute girl I met at Windsor Castle, United Kingdom is just so naturally photogenic I cannot resist putting her picture on the blog.

If you see this, my dear friend - - please drop me a note on the blog.

Cheers!

My Best Friend

My best friend

28th March 2006
They say 10 fingers are too many if you count the number of true friends you've got when you reach your 30s..
Well, I couldn't agree more
And she (see picture) is definitely a friend finer than most human i have known and befriended.

Apologies to all my human friends.

Cheers.

So much, so little

21st March 2006

So much to do
so little time to do it

So many headaches
On one head

Maybe that's why they say
Two heads are better than one.

Cheers

Stormed

Stormed

13th March 2006

Flooded, stormed,
In the wake of a string of disasters

Torrential wind flung in different directions,
Rain gushed down

Fear,
and anxiety...

Destruction,
then rebuilding.

Anger and resentment
Questions...

Run

Run

9th March 2006

He ran as fast as he could, up the slope
His tiny blue sandals flapped as he sprinted on the green grass
Pushing himself, he reached the trees at the horizon
Heart thumping fast, gasping for breath..

The triumph of being first
The wait for the rest of his cousins to catch up
Praises of how fast and agile he was rang through his ears
The smiles on the face of the adults..

These are my memories...

Horizon

Horizon

2nd March 2006

Maybe the time is near,
Horizon is clear

Traffic below is manic,
Rise above the panic

The winding road, hard and dry
below the light blue sky

Is it really time to shovel
or really to throw the towel ?

Dead minds shrink alike...