Miracle Remain a miracle

Where is God's miracle today?

Where?

Jesus, intercede for us Jesus.

tickling the ivories

When can I play the piano like a pro?

will it ever happen? sigh...

Left and Right Pegasus

Pegasus 30 !

 

On the left is my Right Pegasus and on the right is my left Pegasus.

Need a lift?

Need a lift?

It's time

Fed up

It's time to make an inventory

It's time to switch inventories

It's time to focus on a different inventory

It's time

Mourn for the sixteen years

Celebrate? 16th anniversary??

Rather I mourn the death of my youth poured out unto this 16 years of accumulated moss from one bad choice , compounded with year after year of false hopes and stared down by a growing tower of insecurity.

I now stand and lean on my rock my saviour my Christ.

I am learning to walk now , by faith.

Hopeless

I am totally hopeless and without dependent even now , knowing I have no children to turn to in my days to come. Hopelessness prevails all the days of my life.

I have no one else to turn to.

Thank God.

"Your children will kill you in your old age", a quote from my neighbor last night.

Amen.

happy fluttering butterfiles

 It is better to have happiness fluttering inside your heart than butterflies in your stomach.

f a i t h

God is testing my faith in Him
Even though my heart is breaking daily,
even though things are not working out as i may wish,
even though i may wait for something or nothing
To Him be ALL Glory.

Synergies and Transformations in the workplace

In the movie "In Good Company'', they called it 'Synergy'.
My employer calls it 'Transformation'.

Whatever big words they try to camouflage the uncertainties in our employment future with the company, we all know what it means and we feel the jitters in the next 9 months.

If a good change is upcoming in my job, I'd like to hear the proposition.
If a bad change is upcoming in my job, I'd like to hear the proposition.

Well they tell me the proposition comes around in the next 1-4 months; and the proposition becomes activated 3 months thereafter, however it might be good or it might be bad.

So in the meantime, look for a job ?

Sunrise & Shadow on the Sand

Sunrise

 

Shadow on the Sand

 

Sun at the beach

The sun at the beach by the sea,

What clear skies, Simply love it !

Deactivated Facebook

Deactivated facebook account today.
Its just too depressing.

He held my heart today

Today God strengthened and braced my crumbled heart on a day special to those who celebrate.

Live with lesser blessings

Another rough week,  an even rougher week end.

I prayed to God this morning to help me live with lesser material blessings in life.

Praise Lord.

Thankful God for not prospering me with children

No, God did not bless us with any baby last year. It's 25-June 2014 today and so far He has not blessed us with any baby yet. We got a baby but the blessing was undone almost immediately with unspeakable sufferings all the way till the she died and was delivered - still.

Memories and wounds still raw in my mind, fresh wounds emerge and dug deeper in the same wound every time I see God blesses others.

So I say Thank God for not prospering me today!

HAPPY MAIDTHERS' DAY

Meaningless Mother's Day

Meaningless mothers day ，meaningless , meaningless !

happy mothers day

happy mothers' day my foot!

I lost my mother and father.
I lost my daughter.

I am a childless orphan.

Depressing facebook

Everytime I log on to facebook I get depressed...

Prayer of Petition dated 14th Day of the Month of March in the Year of 2014

Dear God (our Heavenly Father)

You are our God Almighty and nothing escapes your eyes
Nothing steers away from your plans
And nothing go against your Will
Nothing stands in your way for nothing is to difficult for You

Lord,
You have been so silent to my grief, pain and prayers
Though you know my hearts cries out tears of blood
Day after day, night after night
My heart is weakened by this grief I carry

Lord,
Are my sins too much for you to look at me ?
Is my love not genuine to receive your glance ?
Why Lord am I so, so, so unworthy and so repulsive ?
Are you going to shun my prayers forever ?

Lord
Please do not ignore me anymore
Shine your face upon me Lord
Rain your grace upon every moment of my life
And may my joy be complete today

Jesus Jesus Jesus
Amen Amen Amen.

Tears of Eternity

On the day of his funeral I finally cried.
I cried, cried, cried, cried and I cried.....

The burden of my tears weighed down on me on that day,
and pulled my depression out into the open...

I didn't see any other man shed a tear...

The fourth person I personally know left us before we even ended February...
and the third funeral of the year, even yet before I am comforted by my dad's passing.

Rest in peace, dad (in law).

Dad (in-law), I know your regrets.  And your regrets you shared with my dad - I share them deeply as well though I cannot keep saying this out with everyone. Just as my dear Jasmine had passed on before my mum, dad, Mrs Liew's mother, uncle David, Jadite and you, I now live reminiscing all of you in my days here on earth, missing every great moments that I might have with you if you were here. But most of all, I miss Jasmine most as I haven't spent a moment with her before her passing;
as I was reminded so timely as I was just penning this off, a colleague came to request for a survey
for fathers.....

Will the river of tears continue to run ?
Will there not be much tears of happiness, contentment, joy and bliss in between? And if there are, will they be far and wide ?

Only God knows.

Will be done

When God says No,
I cannot think Yes.

Who can defy God's will
For when He wills, it will be done.

The passing of a sister in Christ

The passing of a sister in Christ

It is just not easy to swallow this. I thought the many deaths in my own family is enough
for me to accustom myself to deaths; considering the closest persons in my life have already left me by now. My beloved daughter Jasmine, my beloved mother and followed by my beloved father. After all the dearest persons in my life have left me, I thought all the demise of any other person would not affect me so badly. But its definitely not the case.

Every single drop of suffering of humanity, seen or unseen, heard or unheard whether fallen on the shoulders of a relative, colleague or stranger - -  all rakes up the mire of pain of the yesteryears...

My heart is heavy with an inexpressible pain.

My friend, you have fought the good fight and you are definitely stronger than anyone else.
Thanks for all the bread, cakes, tales, ears and more office tales.

I am sure you are enjoying your time with Jesus everyday.

Sorrow so burrowed, Wound so deep

O Sorrow, my sorrows;

Burrowed and entrenched in a wound so deep;

A wound so deep, a wound so deep;

For who knows my sorrows ?

So deep, o so deep in the wound,

trapped but yet struggling to come out in the open;

to express yourself but can no longer,

because you burrow deeper in your throes of agony;

How do I cry? when there are no more tears inside

How do I weep? when there is not a tender bosom who know my sorrow

How do I grief? when there is not a strong shoulder I can lean on

How do I mourn? when I do not remember the face of my beloved

How do I weep? when my voice can no longer coax it out in the open

And how do I lament? when my wounds are never healed?

Jesus You claim you are The Way, The Truth and The Life;

The One who weeps for our losses in our lives;

Who has gone through all the sorrows of our life,

The Man of Sorrows who lived, who died, resurrected and who lives!

Jesus, Please come and heal my wounds today so I may be alive in You.